The Fitful Flog

March 19, 2005

Dollars to Doughnuts!

Dollars to Doughnuts!

What is it, you ask? Well, it’s a sixteen-sided tube made out of a dollar bill, with an iris closure on both ends.

“Irish closure,” says my wife, “what’s that? Kneecapping?”

No, iris closure. Describes a pursuit curve and all that. Looks a wee bit like the iris of a camera. Visualize James Bond hopping in and out of it.

The original plan was, I think, to use it as a tip in doughnut shops. For those of you outside of the New England region, I should mention that it’s not uncommon for one to aver something by saying, “I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that….”

We take our doughnuts seriously here in the Commonwealth.

The other thing I thought of was using it as an illustration of what the current administration is doing to our retirement system. See, they’re taking your Social Security dollar and turning it into a great fat zero.

Want to try making one? Well, there are no diagrams, per se. But here is a crease pattern and here is a hints sheet. When you print the crease pattern, make sure your print dialog doesn’t shrink the page to fit.

Being over forty and somewhat nearsighted, I often find it hard to see landmarks on a dollar bill. What I do is print out the crease pattern, put some doublesided tape on it, attach a crisp dollar and run the whole through the printer again. If you’re careful with the placement, you can get a the crease pattern accurately overprinted on the dollar bill. Gently peel it off and you’re in business.

Is that legal, you ask? Ask Alberto Gonzales. Anything can be made legal by whoring out the language used to write the law.

Bullshit strolls, money rolls.

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8 Responses to “Dollars to Doughnuts!”

  1. 1
    Eduardo Says:

    I folded this model yesterday! I didn?t fold a dollar bill though, I used regular printer paper. It?s a very nice model, but I took me ages to make all the creases and even longer to collapse. It?s devilish hard to collapse it, but folding it is kind of addictive, I folded three of them in a row.

  2. 2
    oschene Says:

    It is hard, especially the first time through. I found it grew easier with practive – and a little bamboo folder doesn’t hurt, either. Until I got the hang of pinching the overlap, I used masking tape to hold it together.

    Once locked together, though, it’s a very solid ring. Did you try shooting it into a wall?

  3. 3
    Thomas Millet Says:

    I concur it is hard to collapse. I ended up using a paper clip to hold one side while I worked on the other! And it shoots nicely!

  4. 4
    Eduardo Says:

    I used a peper clip too! I don?t think I could have made it without it!

  5. 5
    The Fitful Flog ? The Problem with Dollars Says:

    […] I was thinking about the fold I opened this site with, the Dollars to Doughnuts fold. If you are in, oh, I don?t know, the National University of Singapore or Omsk or the Faroes, maybe, you might not have lots of dollars on hand. Or maybe you have just a couple and you?d like to practice a bit on something first. Something big with the lines drawn on it, so you can see what you?re doing. […]

  6. 6
    oschene Says:

    This seems a rather left-handed compliment, but I thank you very much. Indeed, it can be done with adult sized fingers, no tools and no overprinting.

    Send me a buck and I’ll mail you one. Make it two bucks – there’s got to be some profit in here, somewhere.

  7. 7
    sa Says:

    This is patently impossible and you are all liars. The images of the “completed” doughnuts are Photoshop fakeries. There is now possible way for someone with fully sied adult fingers to fold these creases, so just stop all this lying, all of you.

  8. 8
    w Says:

    nice. my dad always said

    money talks, bullshit walks

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